I spent the better part of a lifetime,
trying to understand what binds us together,
what makes it all worthwhile.
In my youth,
the direction was religion.
I lived in a small town,
where the choices were religion, sport or substance abuse.
I was wise enough to know that sport was not the answer,
that shared substance abuse was a dead end.
The option left was religion.
I studied intently,
over years.
I memorised verses,
I spoke with everyone I knew,
who seemed to have any knowledge of the subject.
There was no Internet,
but there were books - when I could find them.
At 18,
I loaded my car in trepidation,
and drove to university,
to begin my theology degree.
For weeks,
I was excited.
There was no profanity here,
there was no visible substance abuse.
It was bliss -
for a few weeks.
Then I began to see,
what was under the surface.
The deception,
The manipulation,
The falseness of it all.
By my third year,
I was unsure where to turn -
to finish this degree,
or start again somewhere else.
I am thankful I completed the degree -
it was a doorway to further considerations.
As I began to see what religion really was,
I wondered what was next,
and I wandered.
I set upon the idea that family should be the centre of my world,
that I would focus on those I loved and somehow, somehow,
this direction would have meaning.
When my son was born,
I felt it was all in place,
but his mother decided this was not to be.
The things around which we build meaning are difficult to pick -
as things come to an end.
You can believe in things unseen -
they will never let you down,
but they also don’t exist.
No disappointment -
no true satisfaction.
You can believe in those around you -
they will disappoint you,
but you will have those glorious moments when the stars align.
You can believe in principle,
but which ones?
I have come to see,
that what binds us is empathy,
compassion,
kindness.
When we extend these things throughout existence,
there is nowhere we cannot go.
When our hearts extend to all sentient beings,
we share in their sorrows,
their loss,
their joy,
their peace.
When the divisions that we have created in our minds,
are finally dismantled,
we see that their existence is also ours,
that there is no need for religion,
or for substances to forget.
We are all part of the universe creating itself -
getting to know itself.
This is true religion,
this is true family.
Support my Writing
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leesturgis.eth
leesturgis.sol
